


Notes left

by DangerousDaydreams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Books, Drunkenness, F/M, First Kiss, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Notes, Severus Snape Has a Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29373606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousDaydreams/pseuds/DangerousDaydreams
Summary: You're drunk and Severus comes to save you.
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Reader, Minerva McGonagall/Reader, Severus Snape/Reader, Severus Snape/You
Kudos: 28





	Notes left

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of ideas in my head, been playing around with it for a while.

This school year wasn’t any different than those prior as the Muggle Studies professor you did your job and stayed out of the politics of the school. Though Lucius Malfoy did come around sometimes to annoy or insult you. While you loved Sprout and Minerva, your best friend on campus was Severus Snape. You didn’t gossip or sit together at dinner but instead graded papers in the same room or read books you had recommended to each other. Only a few times had Severus ranted to you about non academic items but you never provoked anything out of him. He looked at you more than agreeably in comparison to others. That’s all you needed, past that you needed alone time and solace. 

The second snow had just hit Hogwarts and going outside was not an option especially at night. During dinner the students were buzzing in anticipation of the winter activities they could do in the morning. While you should’ve noticed this you continued to down the wine at a ridiculous pace, you were numb in the brain and feeling reckless. So you decided to get drunk, feel it in your bones drunk, and wake up still drunk. You wanted to do things sober you wouldn’t dream. You were desperate but didn’t understand why. By the time you were done mulling over thoughts and continuing knock back full goblets it was almost the end of dinner. Deciding you had had enough with being around others you in a dramatic fashion left the high table and made a dash for your quarters.

Those at the high table did not take notice, though a few students did but brushed it off as you needing to use the bathroom. Once the majority of students had left the hall Severus looked down to your spot at the table where you were missing. He thought that was odd but didn’t think twice about it really. He headed back to his office to get papers to bring back to his quarters when he overheard students mumbling about your behavior. He paused but continued it was personal and not any of his business to meddle in. A while later after curfew while Snape was doing his rounds when he came around the corner and face to face with the door to your quarters. The temptation was too much and he hastily knocked on your door, you didn’t respond and that wasn’t normal. You always responded to him at your door even when it was too late at night to be awake. There was no way you were out in the castle, he had just checked for you in your usual spots. He knocked again. Nothing. This was increasingly worrying. Even when you got drunk you never ignored him. He knocked yet again, calling to you “L/N”. Nothing. He tried the door handle, unlocked thankfully, and opened the door fully.

You were slumped over in the farthest corner, bottles surrounded you mostly empty and broken. Your head while propped against the stone wall felt heavy so when the door opened you were only able to turn to look at it for a second before it fell back into where it had been. You’d taken off your outer robes and had your sleeves pushed up to your elbows. Your arms were a bloody mutilated mess cut by the bottle you’d broken on purpose. Your breathing was fine but there was a lot of blood, too much blood out of you. 

Severus stood there in the doorway for a moment before slowly walking over to you. He needed to call someone, he needed help. Your hands were empty and open, palms up to the ceiling. He kneeled next to you, examining your arms, every time your heart beat blood would spill into your lap. He gently laid his hands on you, one turning your head towards him and the other on the shoulder. 

“I made a mess didn't I?” You spoke softly and your laugh was choked out.

Severus looked into your eyes, why did they seem so empty. They were never empty or sad, not for the past 13 years you’d been teaching together. Did he not look close enough or was he not paying enough attention. His thumb became wet as tears started to fall from you, your breathing worsening. How could he have missed this? He took a deep breath before brushing a light kiss on your lips. Your lips were dry and cracked but most importantly cold. He stood up and forced himself to the doorway to figure out who was closest. “I’m going to go get help” he said turning to look at you for another second before turning back to the hallway.

“Please don’t” it was almost so soft that he didn’t hear it as he left the door frame. He pushed away your request mentally before grabbing a 7th year out of bed by the neck.

“Send Madam Pomfrey to Professor L/Ns quarters” the kid almost scream but no noise left his mouth “Run.” He let the kid go before rounding up the stairs to get to Minerva’s room. He prayed that she would be in there and not with Dumbledore at this hour. 

He got to her door and he banged on it so hard his wrist hurt, “MINERVA”, he called as he banged on the door “It is an emergency”. It only took a few seconds for Minerva to open the door. Looking down they both saw the blood on his hands, she looked up at him, he was out of breath. Panicking. “It’s F/N she’s-“ Minerva pushed past Severus as he started talking again and when she heard your name she immediately rushed down the stairs to your quarters, Severus on her heels. He heard more footsteps in the opposite direction, looking up it was Madam Pomfrey, oh thank god he thought. 

Your door was still open so Minerva saw you even before she was entirely in your quarters. She cried out internally. The amount of blood on you and around you was a devastating amount. You were slumped all the way over now, unresponsive, the pool of blood now spilled onto the floor. Minerva grabbed her wand and shifted all of the glass out of the way. “F/N” she called to you before reaching you, she kneeled down next to you pausing before shifting to move your head towards her. Your eyes were not fully shut but not responsive either, a tear fell from you as Minerva moved your head. “Please F/N.”

Severus had stopped just inside the door, Madam Pomfrey had just managed to arrive. Minerva moved over to let her work on you but quickly got up and headed over to Severus “I’m going to go get Dumbledore and alert the others.”. Minerva's voice seemed mumbled in his ears, he just stood there. Minerva left the room and rushed down the hallway again.

In 13 years he had never seen your quarters. It was small, filled with candles that were barely glowing but the moonlight made up for it. The only personal items that were out were the books on the desk and the knick knacks on the night stands. The bed- the bed had a note on it that he hadn’t noticed prior, he reached to pick it up but not brave enough to open the fold. Your outer robes had been placed on your bed as well and were free of any blood. The only thought he could think was why, why now, why at all? What the hell? Why did he kiss you before he left? Was it out of friendship? Was it out of desperation? He didn’t know. His head throbbed and time seemed to stand still in the room until Dumbledore and Minerva made their way back into the room. Madam Pomfrey had done her best and she stood up. Severus blinked. She turned around and shook her head, her fore arms covered in blood smears. Severus turned to Minerva and clawed her into an embrace. He didn’t cry though, he couldn’t cry especially now. He let go of Minerva after only a minute and turned back to you, slumped in the corner.

“Why now?” In Severus’s head there was nothing to cause this. It had just snowed, exams were the next week, you had told him your lesson plans with great excitement only just yesterday. The piece of parchment in his hand felt heavy though he knew it was a mind trick. Opening the fold he saw the note was addressed to him

_ „ S, I’ve decide to go now „ _

Severus felt numb, his heart was still beating but he wasn’t sure if anything else still worked. Madam Pomfrey stepped out of the way and told Minerva to let her know when they were ready for her to move you. Severus folded the note and shoved it into his pocket, before moving back over to you. He kneeled next to you while Dumbledore came over to wish you good luck, Dumbledore lightly touched you on the head before walking back to Minerva. Severus just kneeled there, the glass that had gotten into his knees before now making themselves know. Numb. It was all numb. No one else treated him with the respect and dignity you did, you always listened and never told anyone about his business or feelings. He always felt as if he was in the presence of a true equal who didn’t want anything from him. You never asked him for anything other than what was expected in that kind of relationship. You always returned borrowed books promptly and never damaged them. You would take over his projects or classes if need be and never asked where he was going or what he was doing. He wished he’d been more open with you, maybe your friendship would’ve been enough to prevent this. He took your cold hand in between his and sighed a deep heavy of acceptance. He would always lose the ones he loved most. He reached out and touched your cheek gently before standing up.

  
  
  


Classes were canceled the next day though the students weren’t informed of the matter, Dumbledore decided the best action was to allow them outside for a while before keeping them in their house's common rooms. The 7th year who had gotten caught that night had been isolated to prevent rumors but now the rumors were about him. Severus hadn’t seen you since, he really didn’t want to so he decided to get the books from your quarters. He unlocked the door and was glad to see it had been cleaned at least slightly since last night but the blood stains were going to take time. He didn’t want to snoop through your personal stuff so he only grabbed the books out in the open. Doing his best to avoid where you were last night he collected all of them into a stack before heading out. While locking the door the book on the top of the stack accidentally fell off and opened. It opened up to a page with a piece of parchment stuck in it, Severus closed it and picked it up again thinking it was only a page marker.

  
  


The spring came and Severus had come to own your books and knick knacks which now sat on his desk. You didn’t have any other personal things in the room other than clothes and school items so he decided to keep what he could. Your books had made their way into Severus’s book shelves so when he selected a book he didn’t realize it was the one with the page marker in it. It only took a few minutes of reading and page turning to knock the page marker free, it floating into his lap. Examining it before flipping it over he read your hand writing for the first time in a while 

_ „ I can’t wait to tell Severus I love him „ _

He was at peace, heart broken and mourning but at peace. 


End file.
